When Society Screws You Over

It's 10:30PM in the the evening, she is sitting in an unfamiliar place and she's not even sure how she got there. She just got in her car and drove... drove to where her heart wanted to go...

The creek was where her heart took her. There stood the tree that grew and grew....

I had an evening of despair and heavy heart, I can't explain why and I won't However, that evening, when I left to clear my mind and lighten my heart. I realized that I had been driving for an hour without any knowledge of where I was going.

That was the question of the evening. Where was I going? What am I doing exactly with my life? There was a significant disconnect with who I am and who I want to be.

Who Am I?

Well, there is a loaded question that I have been asking myself for a very long time.

To me? I am a caring person. I love warm and genuine people. I thought of being lied to sickens me to my stomach and trust is huge.

I like being spoken to and I like being included in group events with new and old people. I like to socialize and meet new people. I am the type of person who stresses out about another's well-being over my own and would do what I can to relieve said stress.

I hate being lied to and I hate being betrayed more. I thought of someone who I hold dear to me doing that? I would break my heart into a million and 1 pieces and I would have no idea where to begin to patch things together.

I hate the thought of other people using another especially when only one person gains or benefits from it.

What do I mean?

Well, you know those scammers who prey on the elderly citizens and pretend that their child or grandchild is in dire need of cash but the only way to save them is to give these scammers the money. Or they would approach them with "magic" water that needs to be purchases to cure their "unknown" illnesses that the elderly never had.

I also don't like being used. Enough said.

I am not dirt, trash or disposable.

I am a human being.

And I realized that in this world, in this society, there isn't an us in that word but there is an "i". Yes, I went there, just like there isn't an 'i' in team but there is a "me". No one else is going to take care of you but you. Everyone out there is looking out for number one. And who is number one? Themselves or yourself.

IF you are the type to believe someone who says they'll be there. Think again. No one will be there unless there is something to gain from it.

Everyone gets up and leaves. Why? Because they are looking out for themselves.

If it is not profitable, why stick around?

Right? Why stick around if you aren't going to gain anything from it. If someone decides something on their own and there is no inclusion, I don't see what the worth is.

#mylife #screwedme